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alexmegami"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Your hobbies are intrinsically about you, some core aspect of your personality. Even if your hobbies only go as far as "that's what my friends like to do", that tells you something about yourself - even if it's just that you're a follower who's more interested in going with the flow than actually figuring out your own likes and dislikes.
The worst is when you have hobbies that no one else around you enjoys. Extra points if they've never even heard of it, or have only heard of the most basic examples of it. ("Japanimation" =/= "Sailor Moon"! Do you remember the days when it used to be called Japanimation? Now I really feel old.)
My fellow-geeks-well-met will recognize this, but I suspect it's true of anyone with a really obscure hobby (model trains? stamp collecting?). The first time you meet other people like you - people who love to dress up as their favorite characters, who can discuss the endless minutiae of the slight differences in stamp print runs, whose goal in life is to own the entire set of the American Flyer series - that's the greatest moment in the world.
You've been validated. Other people not only understand your love, they share it.
It's coming home.
There will always be the crotchety elders of the family ("I remember when you had to walk six miles uphill both ways in the blazing heat just to get a glimpse of Shatner while filming Wrath of Khan!"), and the younger generation with their boundless energy and their complete lack of social etiquette (I was that kid that would use Japanese words in every other sentence, regardless of my conversational partner) and there's sometimes, yes, the creepy old uncle who takes it too far, even by family standards.
Because they're still your tribe: they understood, when no one else did. And sometimes that can hurt, when they fuck up. But it can be fantastic. It can keep you going when nothing else can.
And sometimes you'll move on, find another family of choice, but - barring severe exceptions - you'll probably look back on that time with fondness.
What is it like to have a deep, abiding interest in something that's well-accepted by the world? Is there such a thing? (TV probably doesn't fit this - I have a suspicion that your average Joe would look askance at your average Troper, for example. Nor your job - we call those "workaholics". Celebrities? Sports?)
What is your deep, abiding love? What kept you going when nothing else did?
Your hobbies are intrinsically about you, some core aspect of your personality. Even if your hobbies only go as far as "that's what my friends like to do", that tells you something about yourself - even if it's just that you're a follower who's more interested in going with the flow than actually figuring out your own likes and dislikes.
The worst is when you have hobbies that no one else around you enjoys. Extra points if they've never even heard of it, or have only heard of the most basic examples of it. ("Japanimation" =/= "Sailor Moon"! Do you remember the days when it used to be called Japanimation? Now I really feel old.)
My fellow-geeks-well-met will recognize this, but I suspect it's true of anyone with a really obscure hobby (model trains? stamp collecting?). The first time you meet other people like you - people who love to dress up as their favorite characters, who can discuss the endless minutiae of the slight differences in stamp print runs, whose goal in life is to own the entire set of the American Flyer series - that's the greatest moment in the world.
You've been validated. Other people not only understand your love, they share it.
It's coming home.
There will always be the crotchety elders of the family ("I remember when you had to walk six miles uphill both ways in the blazing heat just to get a glimpse of Shatner while filming Wrath of Khan!"), and the younger generation with their boundless energy and their complete lack of social etiquette (I was that kid that would use Japanese words in every other sentence, regardless of my conversational partner) and there's sometimes, yes, the creepy old uncle who takes it too far, even by family standards.
Because they're still your tribe: they understood, when no one else did. And sometimes that can hurt, when they fuck up. But it can be fantastic. It can keep you going when nothing else can.
And sometimes you'll move on, find another family of choice, but - barring severe exceptions - you'll probably look back on that time with fondness.
What is it like to have a deep, abiding interest in something that's well-accepted by the world? Is there such a thing? (TV probably doesn't fit this - I have a suspicion that your average Joe would look askance at your average Troper, for example. Nor your job - we call those "workaholics". Celebrities? Sports?)
What is your deep, abiding love? What kept you going when nothing else did?
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Date: 2011-11-13 07:32 pm (UTC)I think sports is the one that most people understand -- even those of us on the outside know a little about it, simply because it's everywhere.
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Date: 2011-11-13 09:44 pm (UTC)*nod* I agree. Even if I don't "understand" it viscerally, I see it so frequently that it's part of the fabric of the culture - to the point that countries have a sport that is "their" sport. (Hockey here, football for Americans, soccer for Italians, baseball in Japan, cricket in a lot of South Asian countries, etc.) It's almost to the level of a cultural marker, where you're an outsider if you DON'T get the local sport.
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Date: 2011-11-14 02:00 am (UTC)I might be something of an outsider in my own country (the US) because I do not get the appeal of football at all. I understand it intellectually but find most sports to be a huge bore. If I recall correctly, I made my dad leave a baseball game (which I've heard is "the American pastime") early when I was 5 or so because I was THAT bored. I'm female, which probably makes a difference in how odd people find my disinterest in sports.
I had/have (we're still friends) in high school that friend who used often in conversation Japanese words that I didn't know, to the point where I think I learned a few because she used them so frequently.
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Date: 2011-11-14 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 12:11 pm (UTC)I think gender socialization plays a role in it; my dad would talk about and play backyard sports with me as easily as he would my brother, and this has given me an abiding interest such that I talked about baseball with my high-school teachers until the star of our school's baseball team told one of them "She knows more about it than I do!" and upon moving to another country I started feeling like I belonged when I could follow Test Match Special or my friends talking about rugby on Twitter.
And sports are still the only thing my dad and I have to talk about. I mean, we're not gonna talk about feelings, are we? :)
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Date: 2011-11-15 09:26 pm (UTC)(My dad had videotapes of every single ST:TOS episode, plus all the Trek movies and all the Star Wars movies, and I always remember my stepdad watching ST:TNG. Formative? Definitely.)
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Date: 2011-11-14 06:47 am (UTC)I've never figured out the appeal of chasing a ball around. Although I do "get" some of the non-ball sports.
Yes, we're football, although baseball made a fair bid for it. Generally in a football-fan-heavy area, you learn to adapt rather than being on the outside permanently -- there's enough going on at any given time of year that I can get away with asking, "What game?" -- if nothing else, there's bound to be both a pro game and a college game on. Then I just nod and smile and sound sympathetic, and if I have to say anything else I ask, "What's the score?" The advantage of working a convenience store is that I usually don't have to say more than two sentences in a "conversation". :)
Then I can ask my co-worker what sport I was discussing, if I really need to know. And I temporarily memorize the score and plays to repeat when the next customer asks if I know "how the game's going". Some of them have figured it out, but I think half my customers assume I'm actually interested and not just paid to be friendly. ;)
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Date: 2011-11-15 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 04:38 am (UTC)this was a great read!
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Date: 2011-11-14 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 05:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 05:45 am (UTC)I hope that everyone has something that they secretly passionately love! Even if I don't get it. :)
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Date: 2011-11-14 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 07:10 pm (UTC)This year is was that much better because I flew to Charlotte first, spent a day with my Bekah and her family before we drove down to Atlanta, spent the Con together with two awesome random roommates from the LJ D*C Rooms group, and then drove back to her place for 2 more glorious days together. It was the first time in 4.5 years that I'd gotten to see my best friend. So now that's been established as our tradition, and that's the plan for next year as well. We've even already bought our badges at Con for next year, since that's the cheapest time to get them!
Oh, and I got to meet tigrkittn and her hubby, and dizzydog at D*C this year! So that was pretty awesome to have an LJI component to Con.
You're right, that energy can not be beat. I thrive on it and then there's the After Con Depression as I adjust to life outside of that environment again. You have to store up that energy for the year to get you through to the next one!
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Date: 2011-11-16 07:48 pm (UTC)That's awesome! :D (Not so awesome that it took 4.5 years to make happen, but seeing your best friend is excellent no matter what.)
After Con Depression, I get that. :P And it so often comes with a big helping of Con Crud. The double-whammy of suckitude.
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Date: 2011-11-16 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 04:23 pm (UTC)Mysticism and Magic.
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Date: 2011-11-15 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:33 pm (UTC)I'm kind of surprised no one's taken me to task for linking them to the black-hole time suck that is TV Tropes yet. ;)
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Date: 2011-11-15 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-15 09:49 pm (UTC)The worst is when I start going through tropes to describe new writing or roleplaying characters. That can take HOURS.
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Date: 2011-11-15 07:42 pm (UTC)You're very right about hobbies bringing people together. For me, I find the dog park to be my social dream... I can talk about dogs and people care! I know so many things about dogs and dog breeds, I could write several books... But you never know who cares to hear about that. At the dog park, we share a common bond :)
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Date: 2011-11-15 09:38 pm (UTC)It's also one of the great things about the internet, if you can find somewhere that's not overrun with jerks (possibly more of a problem with geeks than with dog lovers!). Now we don't just have to hope someone else in our immediate social circle (or a friend of a friend) likes what we like... we can find entire web communities dedicated to it! It might not fix everything (especially if you feel isolated otherwise), but it can be a huge help.
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Date: 2011-11-16 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 04:01 pm (UTC)And since I can't go to that con this year, my convention family is bringing the con to me, by helping me host a speculative fiction book signing at my bookstore.
I really love how you turned the focus of this piece from the Self to the Other.
It *is* coming home.
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Date: 2011-11-16 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-17 06:38 pm (UTC)And I love TvTropes. I don't know why, it's just...it's weirdly engaging and funny and you will never ever run out of stuff to read.
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Date: 2011-11-17 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 02:14 am (UTC)I remember Japanamation, too :)
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Date: 2011-11-21 10:17 pm (UTC)