Performance Anxiety

[alexmegami]

Some people can just get up on stage and do things. Whether it's portraying Hamlet, cracking jokes or telling you how to make a truly great Caesar salad, these people have flair and wit when they stand before you - and their audience of thousands.

Some people are, in fact, better in front of a crowd than in one-on-one situations. Dr. Burris was like this; so long as he was wearing his "teacher" mask, he could be brilliant and zany. One-on-one, he is almost painfully shy. I think if he could opt to never do Office Hours, he would. In real life, he's a recluse - but you'd never guess from his stage presence.

These people, I imagine, can perform on command. Maybe they need a little prep time to don their masks, or maybe they've just learned the art of not puking on stage.

I am not one of these people.

Performing in a group - or even with another person on stage - is fine. I've never felt much anxiety during choir or band performances; the Christmas plays were fueled by excitement rather than fear.

But if you stick me somewhere and ask me to perform on my own, I'll forget lines, ramble, talk at speeds only decipherable by hummingbirds, and feel like I'm going to vomit. This applies whether or not I know the material.

I always did well in French, Spanish, and Italian, for example; 80's in the former two, 90's in the latter. My average oral exam score? Usually in the sixties or low seventies. This despite the fact that in class I was not usually corrected, or corrections were minor.

Music exams were the same; don't even get me started on gym exams.

I'm just the sort of person that would rather write an essay or take a multiple-choice exam than go up, alone, with a person (or multiple people) staring at me, waiting for me to perform, judging me silently as they ask me to turn left at the next stop sign, and then parallel park behind the pylon...

I am going to vomit, and it is this damn driving exam's fault.

Comments

Driving exams are scary, man.

[phreeque.livejournal.com]

I remember I had the same examiner the first two attempts at passing my G2 Exit. Very formal, in that uneasy, ruleslawyer-y way. I swear, given his tone, I thought he was going to fail me because I didn't immediate switch out of the left-hand lane after making a left turn.

I think for me, it may be more of an issue of the atmosphere, as opposed to who I'm performing for or with. In high school, I owned just about every oral presentation, in every grade. I was even pretty good in drama class. (The rest of the class, however... *shakes fist*) Because, really, it's high school. It's a relaxed environment. So long as I knew my shit, I could go on for periods at a time.

But yes, things like music tests, language oral examinations, driving tests... One-on-one things are much, much scarrier. I did alright on music tests, but I've never been good with the languages-that-are-not-English. I'm glad I've got my driving tests over with.

That said, fret not, don't get too distraught, you'll only make it worse.

Another thing that just came to mind: When my dad got his license all those many years ago, he was really tense. He needed the license, or else he would have to ride a bike down Dixie to work in the winter. In fact, he had to borrow someone's car at work to take the test. He was a touch nervous.

He went over a curb doing a left turn, and he thought it was over. He thought that one bump was going to do him in. So he slacked, drove casually, couldn't care less about what the examiner thought of his driving afterwards. And he passed. The examiner even said something along the lines of, "You were a little shaky at first, made a few minor erros here and there. But you loosened up a lot after that bump, and started driving a lot better."

With all that said: Good luck on your driving test. Don't make any major mistakes, make sure you check your mirrors, signal, and you should be fine.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry about it too much; I had to take mine three times. The first time I just made too many mistakes, but the second time there were a number of emotional issues entangled in the concept of "driver's license" - so much so that I ran a red light within the first five minutes (I'm pretty certain it was semi-intentional to get the damn thing over with). Third time, though, I practiced for half an hour the night before, and it was more or less a breeze.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

My point being, it's not the end of the world if you don't make it on your first try. I've heard people mention that you should look at the first try more as a practice test, anyway...

Re: Driving exams are scary, man.

[alexmegami]

Is it you that recently got your full license? At the new place, yes?

I'm so worried that I'm going to... I dunno... get lost or something.

Raaa. At least the vomit feeling has gone away.

[user-lain.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the situation. The one-on-one Mandarin oral exam went by really well - why? Because I'm a better Mandarin speaker than I am a Mandarin writer. Why? Because a pseudo-ideographic language is f-ing hard to learn. Ha.

And while I *could* perform on stage, I would freak out if I were a stand-up comedian. There's a difference between portraying Hamlet and being a stand-up comedian - in Hamlet, you learn to ignore the audience, develop a fourth wall, the watchers DO NOT EXIST and you lose yourself to the character. In being a stand-up comedian, you MUST interact with the audience. It's a lot worse. They aren't judging your portrayal of Hamlet (which usually you stop caring about after being immersed in character), they are judging YOU.

In conclusion, you will do well in your driving exam. Just pretend that you're playing someone with Fast Reaction Time and Driving 5.

[alexmegami]

Heh. Unfortunately, with the horrendous backup because of a strike we had a little while back (like... last year?), getting a driving test is akin to pulling teeth. A very real, tangible worry for me right now is that if I don't pass on this go-around, I might have to start the entire godforsaken process all over again.

My license expires in early October. Last time I called the Waterloo office (mid-July), their earliest appointment was mid-September.

So... yeah. No pressure, right? ;)

[alexmegami]

*laughs* True enough.

Yeah. I think I'd be better on the acting front than on the comedian front, for sure, but I do know people that can do either (Burris is a good example, again).

*LOL* Yes ma'am.

Re: Driving exams are scary, man.

[phreeque.livejournal.com]

Indeed, that was me. Of course, I had to miss a test date and pay a $25 failure-to-arrive fee before I found out about the new place, but... yes.

Are you going for your full-licence test? And when?

Re: Driving exams are scary, man.

[alexmegami]

Today? *L* I thought that was... I dunno... evidenced by the post...

It is on First Gulf now, right? Just past the Grande plaza turnoff?

you'll be fine

[yuehmei.livejournal.com]

I got my G in January 2004 (My license expired in February 2004). It was a relatively green Christmas and I woke up on the day of my exam and there was snow everywhere. I drove int he middle of 2 lanes (the instructor kindly pointed out "this is two lanes" and I drove back into the correct lane), I was told that I was going "too slowly" on the onramp onto the 427, then I sped on the 427 and had to slow down in order to change lanes and get off again. The BEST part was when I went to parallel park and I hit the pylon and I just sat there stunned as my instructor said "You hit the pylon" and I said "ok" and tried again.

Seriously Ali, if I can pass then you can pass. (btw, i had the radio playing very low during the exam, I had The Edge so it was kind of calming for me. Try to have ther adio too, but low so you can hear what they're saying).

Good luck! :)

[sasuran.livejournal.com]

I failed my first one, if it makes you feel any better - was fine up to the parking, and then I woulda hit the nice red car next to me. ;)

You know, you'll get in the car though, and it will be just like a driver's ed class (er, if you've taken any) - just them telling you what to do and doing it.

And, uhhhh... you can reward yourself with cinnabons when you're done! Yeah!

... I'm trying to be comforting... XD

*GLOMPS* Anyways, good luck, and I hope it goes well!!!

Re: you'll be fine

[alexmegami]

*L* Okay, if you passed with that I don't feel *quite* so bad... also, I think I'll be on the 410, so that's at least a little comforting.

They might have been going easy on you 'cause of the snow though ;)

[alexmegami]

*glomps back*

I failed my first G2 test, and I'm just really hoping it doesn't happen this time around, because I turn into an emotional wreck. ^_~;

Me and failure, we don't get along very well...

[sasuran.livejournal.com]

You need to whack failure with a whole armload of cinnabons and subjugate it to your will!!!

... I mean...

err...

*cough*

Emotional wreckage is probably a more normal response, at least... ^^;;

BUT I AM SURE YOU WILL DO AWESOME!

Re: Driving exams are scary, man.

[phreeque.livejournal.com]

It probably should have been evident by the post. But thinking back, I have no recollection of you saying anything about said test before said post. Kinda came outta nowhere, is all.

I had to think about it, but, yes, you're right. From Steeles, go down First Gulf, then take the next driveway on the right. It's in one of the back corners of the plaza, the one facing Orion Gate. If you go around the building, you'll find parking spaces with numbers on them. Park there, as they'll likely ask you to do that anyhow.

More words of assurance:
The 410 is not nearly as scary as the 427. Especially when one of the the 427 collector's lanes was decidedly short.
A lot of the driving will be done in Peel Village. I hope it's familiar territory for you.
A lot of the parking spaces you have to park in at the end you can just drive through. No backing up. Makes for easy parking.

[alexmegami]

*giggle* I like the idea of whacking it with Cinnabons...

No, none at all...

[phreeque.livejournal.com]

I failed the first two times I took my test. First time I kinda freaked out on a turn at the end. Second time, if I had done my right turn either a second sooner or a few seconds later, I would have passed. Third time's a charm.

And my third time was quite the pressure cooker too. I passed within a month of my card expiring.

If nothing else can console you, think of this: I did it. Therefore you must be able to also.

[-marrick.livejournal.com]

hmm weird..but ahh... saw your name on the anime fan list, so ah...i have added you kay?

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

I know the difficulty varies depending on where you live, but certainly you can survive without a license for a while longer, nu? =) I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Re: you'll be fine

[yuehmei.livejournal.com]

there wasn't a lot of snow (like 1 centimetre? most of it melted away by the time I hit the 427;)

I still think you'll be fine. Plus to make it worse, when I did my G I'd only been on a 400 highway like 3 times. (my mom doesn't know how to drive on teh highway so I could only ever go with my dad. Of course now I've been on them loads:)

You can do it! :)

[nijikongirl.livejournal.com]

I'm one of those "Does fine in a crowd, not so good one on one" kind of people... but I think it's because I don't think before I talk so if I go one on one with someone I usually say something I should have... Like calling a job interviewer an asshole.

[nijikongirl.livejournal.com]

I mean Shouldn't not should

[firstfaerie.livejournal.com]

Agh. Trying not to think about my own test-deadline before my G1 expires @_@

Sadly, many of those of us who feel somewhat at ease in a staged situation... treat every situation like a performance. It may seem like a cliché, but a lot of great performers are terrified and shy all the bloody time, even when seemingly at ease - only nobody gives them shy-preferential treatment, because the illusion is so great! Certainly not describing my own experience at all *cough*

Oh, and gym class exams have nothing to do with performance, just sheer athleticism -.-; Those athletic bastards!

[alexmegami]

OK, sure thing. :)

[alexmegami]

*L* hehe.

[alexmegami]

Aww *pets*

*laughs* No, I totally understand that, and it's in fact similar to what Dr. Burris described himself as doing.

*L* Maybe it's just a matter of how and what you got tested on. In the 12 Minute Run, maybe not. In the gymnastics segment? Performance had at least a little to do with it...

[-marrick.livejournal.com]

hai!!!