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Performance Anxiety
Aug. 12th, 2005 09:11 amSome people can just get up on stage and do things. Whether it's portraying Hamlet, cracking jokes or telling you how to make a truly great Caesar salad, these people have flair and wit when they stand before you - and their audience of thousands.
Some people are, in fact, better in front of a crowd than in one-on-one situations. Dr. Burris was like this; so long as he was wearing his "teacher" mask, he could be brilliant and zany. One-on-one, he is almost painfully shy. I think if he could opt to never do Office Hours, he would. In real life, he's a recluse - but you'd never guess from his stage presence.
These people, I imagine, can perform on command. Maybe they need a little prep time to don their masks, or maybe they've just learned the art of not puking on stage.
I am not one of these people.
Performing in a group - or even with another person on stage - is fine. I've never felt much anxiety during choir or band performances; the Christmas plays were fueled by excitement rather than fear.
But if you stick me somewhere and ask me to perform on my own, I'll forget lines, ramble, talk at speeds only decipherable by hummingbirds, and feel like I'm going to vomit. This applies whether or not I know the material.
I always did well in French, Spanish, and Italian, for example; 80's in the former two, 90's in the latter. My average oral exam score? Usually in the sixties or low seventies. This despite the fact that in class I was not usually corrected, or corrections were minor.
Music exams were the same; don't even get me started on gym exams.
I'm just the sort of person that would rather write an essay or take a multiple-choice exam than go up, alone, with a person (or multiple people) staring at me, waiting for me to perform, judging me silently as they ask me to turn left at the next stop sign, and then parallel park behind the pylon...
I am going to vomit, and it is this damn driving exam's fault.
Some people are, in fact, better in front of a crowd than in one-on-one situations. Dr. Burris was like this; so long as he was wearing his "teacher" mask, he could be brilliant and zany. One-on-one, he is almost painfully shy. I think if he could opt to never do Office Hours, he would. In real life, he's a recluse - but you'd never guess from his stage presence.
These people, I imagine, can perform on command. Maybe they need a little prep time to don their masks, or maybe they've just learned the art of not puking on stage.
I am not one of these people.
Performing in a group - or even with another person on stage - is fine. I've never felt much anxiety during choir or band performances; the Christmas plays were fueled by excitement rather than fear.
But if you stick me somewhere and ask me to perform on my own, I'll forget lines, ramble, talk at speeds only decipherable by hummingbirds, and feel like I'm going to vomit. This applies whether or not I know the material.
I always did well in French, Spanish, and Italian, for example; 80's in the former two, 90's in the latter. My average oral exam score? Usually in the sixties or low seventies. This despite the fact that in class I was not usually corrected, or corrections were minor.
Music exams were the same; don't even get me started on gym exams.
I'm just the sort of person that would rather write an essay or take a multiple-choice exam than go up, alone, with a person (or multiple people) staring at me, waiting for me to perform, judging me silently as they ask me to turn left at the next stop sign, and then parallel park behind the pylon...
I am going to vomit, and it is this damn driving exam's fault.
