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Today's word of the day:
Jun. 12th, 2003 10:25 amPostdiluvean.
I was amused.
Anyway. Time for me to rant about something near and dear to my heart. (Well, sort of.)
Feminism! And how much I hate it.
Mind you, I don't hate the concept. I think it would be wonderful for women to be on equal footing with men, to not have to worry about harrassment and so forth and all those wonderful things feminism is trying to do.
I have two major beefs with feminism: the way they're trying to bring about these changes, and the name.
I'll start with the name, since it's the shorter of the two topics. My problem is this: "feminism" now covers way more than just women's problems. 'Feminism' has developed into a broad, far-reaching category, that not only deals with women's issues, but also with gay rights and "men's issues" (mostly in how perceived "feminine" men get horribly mauled by The Patriarchy and forced to become "manly" men).
So if you're going to talk about something that doesn't just affect women, why call it "feminism"? Because if women are treated better, so will gay men and "sensitive" men? I strongly suspect this is a byproduct of the image that gay men are like [straight] women, which I dislike. For a group that does a lot of talking about "gendered" words, calling yourselves "feminists" seems a little hypocritical.
((Further more, I dislike grrl and wimmin, wymmyn, and any other variation of the word "women" that takes out the "men"/"man". If you're going to change the English language, at least make up a fucking word that doesn't even sound like it has "men" in it. I, personally, would like to be called a "squee" from now on, plural squi, and what were formerly known as "men" (myn?) should be "quarbs", singular "quarb". Actually, screw that: let's just go straight back to the Greek. We take enough from them anyway. End side rant.))
Why don't I like the way they're trying to bring about these changes? Well, in a lot of cases (admittedly the most vocal/talked about ones), they're trying to change by going to the other extreme. And what happens when you put two extremists in the same room together? Nothing gets done because you're just screaming at each other without listening.
I think women (and gay men and sensitive men and anyone else that considers themselves downtrodden by The Patriarchy) should be bringing about change by example. You do not need a fucking self-help group for this. You do not need "help" for being gay/female/sensitive/et cetera. Just get out there and ACT LIKE THE REVOLUTION HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. Ignore the glass ceiling. Break it. If they won't let you break it - go out and create your own company. If you have to go beyond what your male/straight/"manly" coworkers do, well, do it. No one ever got a promotion by sitting on their ass.
Take up martial arts. Learn to defend yourself. Act like the streets ARE safe to be out on at night. Yes, people get attacked. Yes, people die. But you can't live your life in terror of these things! You can't prevent an earthquake from opening up underneath you and swallowing you whole, but you can learn what to do in the case of an earthquake and hope for the best.
And I know, I know this is horribly idealistic of me, and I know I've never been subjected to any sort of anti-woman sentiment, at least not within conscious memory. I know that I haven't been brought up to have the hangups about being female that most women have. I was brought up believing that intelligence was more important than beauty, that being strong wasn't a flaw, and that there was always more to life than marrying a rich man. I KNOW most women don't get that much out of their parents.
But your environment isn't you. There's got to be some capacity to change, otherwise no one would ever break the cycle and we'd never get the human-interest stories of people that did. Even if you can't do it, raise your kids to believe that they are intelligent and worthwhile. Don't give them the hangups your parents gave you. Warn them of the dangers of the streets, but don't make them paranoid to walk home at 10 PM alone. Don't scold your son for playing with dolls, don't tell your daughter she shouldn't play football. Let them grow up how they want to (within reason, of course. Murder, for example, should be right out).
Really. I think the next woman that I hear complaining about her makeup being ruined I will take by the shoulders, shake violently, and yell "If you're so upset about your mascara running, DON'T WEAR IT! It can't run if you don't wear it!"
---
I think my frustration here mostly stems from the fact that this seems like common sense to me, but most people don't get it. (No one that I associate with, at least not to my knowledge, but...)
I mean, fuck it. I probably use gender-biased words. (Probably often, actually.) I'm more likely to say "policeman" than "police officer". But it doesn't call up the image of a "man" for me; it calls up the uniform, worn by a faceless, genderless being.
I can't understand the idea of feeling threatened by a man. Yes, okay, most of them could probably take me out with little effort. So could most women. Am I going to shut myself in my house with no contact with the outside world? No. That's just stupid.
I have more male friends than female (somewhat evening out now that I'm in university, but find I relate better in general to the male friends than the female on an ideological level, and always have). A feminist might say that this is because I feel "protected" by them. No. I find them easier and more open to talk to; more honest; we have similar mindsets. ((Admittedly, most of the females on my friends list do too - if we were too radically different, we'd probably not be very good friends.)) Protection has nothing to do with it. Other than when asked to divide you up into male/female, I don't generally think of you guys that way. I think of you as "Serena", "Chantal", "Jason", "Simon", et cetera.
I am angered by that which confuses me. The need for feminism confuses me.
I welcome comments, since I know at least three of you feel pretty strongly about this stuff. ;) I'm not sure what else could be said here though, since I know that I'm a minority in this opinion, and my way of looking at this is completely idealistic and not really able to be carried out.
I was amused.
Anyway. Time for me to rant about something near and dear to my heart. (Well, sort of.)
Feminism! And how much I hate it.
Mind you, I don't hate the concept. I think it would be wonderful for women to be on equal footing with men, to not have to worry about harrassment and so forth and all those wonderful things feminism is trying to do.
I have two major beefs with feminism: the way they're trying to bring about these changes, and the name.
I'll start with the name, since it's the shorter of the two topics. My problem is this: "feminism" now covers way more than just women's problems. 'Feminism' has developed into a broad, far-reaching category, that not only deals with women's issues, but also with gay rights and "men's issues" (mostly in how perceived "feminine" men get horribly mauled by The Patriarchy and forced to become "manly" men).
So if you're going to talk about something that doesn't just affect women, why call it "feminism"? Because if women are treated better, so will gay men and "sensitive" men? I strongly suspect this is a byproduct of the image that gay men are like [straight] women, which I dislike. For a group that does a lot of talking about "gendered" words, calling yourselves "feminists" seems a little hypocritical.
((Further more, I dislike grrl and wimmin, wymmyn, and any other variation of the word "women" that takes out the "men"/"man". If you're going to change the English language, at least make up a fucking word that doesn't even sound like it has "men" in it. I, personally, would like to be called a "squee" from now on, plural squi, and what were formerly known as "men" (myn?) should be "quarbs", singular "quarb". Actually, screw that: let's just go straight back to the Greek. We take enough from them anyway. End side rant.))
Why don't I like the way they're trying to bring about these changes? Well, in a lot of cases (admittedly the most vocal/talked about ones), they're trying to change by going to the other extreme. And what happens when you put two extremists in the same room together? Nothing gets done because you're just screaming at each other without listening.
I think women (and gay men and sensitive men and anyone else that considers themselves downtrodden by The Patriarchy) should be bringing about change by example. You do not need a fucking self-help group for this. You do not need "help" for being gay/female/sensitive/et cetera. Just get out there and ACT LIKE THE REVOLUTION HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. Ignore the glass ceiling. Break it. If they won't let you break it - go out and create your own company. If you have to go beyond what your male/straight/"manly" coworkers do, well, do it. No one ever got a promotion by sitting on their ass.
Take up martial arts. Learn to defend yourself. Act like the streets ARE safe to be out on at night. Yes, people get attacked. Yes, people die. But you can't live your life in terror of these things! You can't prevent an earthquake from opening up underneath you and swallowing you whole, but you can learn what to do in the case of an earthquake and hope for the best.
And I know, I know this is horribly idealistic of me, and I know I've never been subjected to any sort of anti-woman sentiment, at least not within conscious memory. I know that I haven't been brought up to have the hangups about being female that most women have. I was brought up believing that intelligence was more important than beauty, that being strong wasn't a flaw, and that there was always more to life than marrying a rich man. I KNOW most women don't get that much out of their parents.
But your environment isn't you. There's got to be some capacity to change, otherwise no one would ever break the cycle and we'd never get the human-interest stories of people that did. Even if you can't do it, raise your kids to believe that they are intelligent and worthwhile. Don't give them the hangups your parents gave you. Warn them of the dangers of the streets, but don't make them paranoid to walk home at 10 PM alone. Don't scold your son for playing with dolls, don't tell your daughter she shouldn't play football. Let them grow up how they want to (within reason, of course. Murder, for example, should be right out).
Really. I think the next woman that I hear complaining about her makeup being ruined I will take by the shoulders, shake violently, and yell "If you're so upset about your mascara running, DON'T WEAR IT! It can't run if you don't wear it!"
---
I think my frustration here mostly stems from the fact that this seems like common sense to me, but most people don't get it. (No one that I associate with, at least not to my knowledge, but...)
I mean, fuck it. I probably use gender-biased words. (Probably often, actually.) I'm more likely to say "policeman" than "police officer". But it doesn't call up the image of a "man" for me; it calls up the uniform, worn by a faceless, genderless being.
I can't understand the idea of feeling threatened by a man. Yes, okay, most of them could probably take me out with little effort. So could most women. Am I going to shut myself in my house with no contact with the outside world? No. That's just stupid.
I have more male friends than female (somewhat evening out now that I'm in university, but find I relate better in general to the male friends than the female on an ideological level, and always have). A feminist might say that this is because I feel "protected" by them. No. I find them easier and more open to talk to; more honest; we have similar mindsets. ((Admittedly, most of the females on my friends list do too - if we were too radically different, we'd probably not be very good friends.)) Protection has nothing to do with it. Other than when asked to divide you up into male/female, I don't generally think of you guys that way. I think of you as "Serena", "Chantal", "Jason", "Simon", et cetera.
I am angered by that which confuses me. The need for feminism confuses me.
I welcome comments, since I know at least three of you feel pretty strongly about this stuff. ;) I'm not sure what else could be said here though, since I know that I'm a minority in this opinion, and my way of looking at this is completely idealistic and not really able to be carried out.
