(no subject)

Random lyrics again. Let's see what my subconcious pulls out.

One hand to hold my head
The other to hold you away
All the words I never said
All the feelings left astray

One heart to tear to shreds
One piece left inside
All the sadness I always felt
All the terror in my cries


I think I should go to bed. ^^;

Bleh.

I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm done that godawful 1200 word Ragtime essay though. And glad of it. *sigh*

Simon's still an idiot. -_- Seriously. Grargh. Of course, so am I.

Know what? I feel like I'm drifting away from all my friends, damnit. Although I feel closer to some, I feel like others are leaving. It's like... somehow... a barrier's between us. There's nothing left to talk about. And I miss it. I miss it a lot. Mostly I miss the hyperness... But due to whatever reasons (school, work, university...), they're gone. Sometimes, I think, permanently.

Take... A, for example. A and I used to be really close. We could talk about anything. We used to have really long phone conversations (back, indeed, when I used the phone). They were one of my best friends... Though now, I kind of feel that that position has been usurped by B.

Not that I grudge B this. B is a good friend of mine too; but with B, it's a bit different. There's a mutual understanding, a mutual appreciation for things... Not like A, where everything is different. But with B as well, there's that rift.

Then there's C. I used to care about C deeply. They were one person who I would protect to the ends of the earth and back. Perhaps I'm just young in emotion, but the discovery of the illusion hit me hard. Since then... It's just gone downhill. And that hurts.

Not to mention D, E, F, and G. Gods, I miss them sometimes. I even miss the all-out fights.

There's more, of course... I could probably get all the way to M or so. But, unlike when I was younger, there is no one to 'fill' these holes... so I'm left with a very leaky heart, that I can only hope to repair.

Sigh.