Jun. 19th, 2006

alexmegami: (Default)
This is more of a call for advice than another story about Az, although to fully explain the situation there is a (potential) Az story behind the cut, as well as an (old) story that has already happened.

The issue at hand: Patrick is giving the Requiem players all of next game to effectively tell him what happens to the city. We are being given short writeups on the main NPCs and their motivations, but as long as what we say makes sense, it goes.

The emotional setup on Az's part: )

This led to the first problem... )

Now, the latest bit of play was basically: Az and D'or return from Toronto, having been a party to a miracle that pretty much definitively proves [as far as Az is concerned] that God exists, a miracle that restored their Humanity literally and figuratively... and then they go out and pretty much have themselves a good ol' witch burning [which Az did not participate in but was a witness to].

D'or seems not to care. Az? Loses the Humanity that she had just regained the game before and pretty much spirals into a depressive state of self-analysis that comes up with nothing good. Furthermore, she's becoming increasingly aware that D'or is aware of the sexualized feelings she has about him feeding off of her, but neither of them are talking about it because they find it embarrassing [part of which Az hates, because she's never been one to shy from sexuality, but part of her is also scanning it as 'but but but dad', so overall she's feeling very awkward and self-conscious]. She's saddened and disturbed that after being confronted with God - who, in her mind, very explicitly condemns violence - they'd (and especially D'or) would be OK with killing someone, even if it was the crazy sewer witch that had tried to kill them multiple times. Even Connor [effectively their priest, and D'or's broodmate] doesn't seem to think it's that bad.

So what does Az do? Well, first she goes back out to the rock, where she has another insane religious experience and winds up looking like a sea witch for a while. This helps a little, but not really, because she still has no answers, so she returns (with manna-fish, but that's an unrelated story).

D'or tries to engage her a little, but it's not really working for various reasons - he can't give her an answer she likes re: Blackmoor, there are issues they won't touch, she's feeling cut off from her coterie and her human family, and overall she has an overarching feeling of dissatisfaction that she can't explain. D'or suggests that maybe she should move out, be out from under his thumb, and she does, but it doesn't really help - she's still moving listlessly from thing to thing. (Item that is of minor importance later: she builds/buys/has D'or build a sensory deprivation tank that she sleeps in, not that it matters since she's a vampire...] She suggests that D'or should keep feeding off of Charloette, as he did when she was on the rock [for various reasons, including the unspoken 'you'll feel less uncomfortable around me'], but she misses it, although she doesn't admit it.

This is where the potential next story comes in. )

My problem: I feel like, in many ways, Az comes across in this scenario as being whiny and petulant rather than deeply wounded by someone she cares very strongly about. Also, they don't resolve the root of the problem, which would leave Az as being still listless and empty-feeling. Furthermore, it feels like a retread of the first story, except Az is the one pulling herself down this time.

Thoughts? (I know, it's hugely long. Sorry.)

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