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Oct. 6th, 2002
I thought I'd share some of the more amusing D&D stories...
[Elf Campaign]
Elf Ranger (NPC Leader, "Negolith" *cough*Legolas*cough*)
Elf Fighter (has an obsession with cleanliness; Megil)
Elf Cleric (Yavis)
Half-Elf Bard (me ;) Tathar, arrogant brat)
Halfling Rogue (joined late; Milo)
Megil: I'll attack the nearest orc.
DM: OK... roll?
[natural 20, but not a critical]
DM: You shred the orc to bits. You now are covered in orc bits.
Megil: Damnit... rag... *pulls out a rag to clean off*
Tathar: I'm writing a song about you.
Megil: Oh?
Tathar: I'm calling it "The Obsessive-Compulsive Elven Warrior".
[fighting drow]
DM: There's a drow hanging from the ceiling of the sewers, firing arrows at you.
Megil: I'll run, jump, and try to cleave him in half!
[20, critical]
DM: Yeah, you cleave him in half. But the one behind him hits you with a poisoned arrow. Fortitude save?
[fail]
DM: You faint and fall into the sewer.
Tathar: *drags Megil out and administers the antidote*
Megil: *spitting out sewer shit* Rag... *gets hit by another poisoned dart and fails his fortitude save*
Tathar: *administers the antidote* If you get hit again, you're on your own.
Megil: rag...
DM: The rag is covered in sewer shit too.
Megil: Fine. I'll smear the shit on in a nice even coat.
Tathar: *to the rogue* Now where's the rest of the money?
Milo: *bluffing* That's it.
Tathar: I can see through you like glass, little man. [he ALWAYS sees through the rogue's bluffs...]
Tathar: I'm writing a song. "The Incompetent Halfling Rogue".
[fighting large worms]
Megil: *carves a large hole in the side of the worm but overbalances and falls backwards in. Gets up, but doesn't notice the back of his armor is filthy.*
Tathar: Nice job. *pat, sploosh* *wipes blood on front of Megil's armor*
Megil: ....$#!+... RAG...
[fighting a large jelly creature; Tathar, Yavis and Negolith are firing arrows from a door, Megil is up close and hacking away. Suddenly, Negolith yanks Tathar and Yavis out of the way of the door; Megil doesn't see this.]
DM: Roll a dodge?
Megil: [fails this]
DM: The jelly thing explodes. Make a Will save?
Megil: [fails] *bursts into tears*
[fighting Lurkers; Megil slices one that's on the ceiling in half. It falls on his head. He doesn't notice.]
Tathar: *coming up behind him, uses the Lurker's arm to pat his shoulder* Good job.
Megil: *oblivious* Thanks!
Tathar: *disgusted* You have a monster on your head.
Megil: Yeah, right...
DM: Uh, roll to see if he's bluffing.
[20]
Megil: ... *whips the monster off his head and slices it in half when it's still in the air*
---
OK, I thought they were funny... though maybe you had to be there. :)
[Elf Campaign]
Elf Ranger (NPC Leader, "Negolith" *cough*Legolas*cough*)
Elf Fighter (has an obsession with cleanliness; Megil)
Elf Cleric (Yavis)
Half-Elf Bard (me ;) Tathar, arrogant brat)
Halfling Rogue (joined late; Milo)
Megil: I'll attack the nearest orc.
DM: OK... roll?
[natural 20, but not a critical]
DM: You shred the orc to bits. You now are covered in orc bits.
Megil: Damnit... rag... *pulls out a rag to clean off*
Tathar: I'm writing a song about you.
Megil: Oh?
Tathar: I'm calling it "The Obsessive-Compulsive Elven Warrior".
[fighting drow]
DM: There's a drow hanging from the ceiling of the sewers, firing arrows at you.
Megil: I'll run, jump, and try to cleave him in half!
[20, critical]
DM: Yeah, you cleave him in half. But the one behind him hits you with a poisoned arrow. Fortitude save?
[fail]
DM: You faint and fall into the sewer.
Tathar: *drags Megil out and administers the antidote*
Megil: *spitting out sewer shit* Rag... *gets hit by another poisoned dart and fails his fortitude save*
Tathar: *administers the antidote* If you get hit again, you're on your own.
Megil: rag...
DM: The rag is covered in sewer shit too.
Megil: Fine. I'll smear the shit on in a nice even coat.
Tathar: *to the rogue* Now where's the rest of the money?
Milo: *bluffing* That's it.
Tathar: I can see through you like glass, little man. [he ALWAYS sees through the rogue's bluffs...]
Tathar: I'm writing a song. "The Incompetent Halfling Rogue".
[fighting large worms]
Megil: *carves a large hole in the side of the worm but overbalances and falls backwards in. Gets up, but doesn't notice the back of his armor is filthy.*
Tathar: Nice job. *pat, sploosh* *wipes blood on front of Megil's armor*
Megil: ....$#!+... RAG...
[fighting a large jelly creature; Tathar, Yavis and Negolith are firing arrows from a door, Megil is up close and hacking away. Suddenly, Negolith yanks Tathar and Yavis out of the way of the door; Megil doesn't see this.]
DM: Roll a dodge?
Megil: [fails this]
DM: The jelly thing explodes. Make a Will save?
Megil: [fails] *bursts into tears*
[fighting Lurkers; Megil slices one that's on the ceiling in half. It falls on his head. He doesn't notice.]
Tathar: *coming up behind him, uses the Lurker's arm to pat his shoulder* Good job.
Megil: *oblivious* Thanks!
Tathar: *disgusted* You have a monster on your head.
Megil: Yeah, right...
DM: Uh, roll to see if he's bluffing.
[20]
Megil: ... *whips the monster off his head and slices it in half when it's still in the air*
---
OK, I thought they were funny... though maybe you had to be there. :)
