Ha, of course, immediately following is this week's horoscope, opening: According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meet a dark, secretive stranger who'll play you like a violin. Nor will you be lured to the warehouse district after midnight to pick up the "missing stuff." And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cult that's conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012.
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