From what it sounds like it seems to go deeper than that.
For me, I would attribute black gunk to the inner darkness of the heart and mind. A person at face value can display whatever part of themselves they want but will generally only pick a personality that's either advantageous or one that's easy enough to maintain (not on account of lazyness, but because it just sort of bubbles up frequently enough and be held together with some ease even under duress).
However, what's at face value does not have to reveal anything of how a person feels in these times under duress or under other special circumstances. Sadness, hate, insecurity, sadism, masochism, lust; all these kinds of emotions can be moving around inside and if there is no outlet, or no way to express or share in these feelings then it just ends up causing further problems as you try and hold yourself in order to maintain your face value, your status quo.
But there is a problem with only trying to find an outlet for these things. It is very easy to find others who express themselves outwardly using these emotions. The person who cares only about physical gratification, who tares into their partner or their slave because they want their fix or their power, or you've got the slave themselves that waits eagerly to feel themselves become torn, to have their cork popped and the ocean well out. Because in the end, they won't really be there after they have taken or received what they wanted, their physical gratification. They are too focused on the game that they do not see outside themselves and the pain that the other person is still in, like themselves.
This is why you need someone special. Someone who feels these things, knows these things, but is of enough worth that they can, at the end of the emotional explosion, hold the other person close and say they'll never leave. Say that there is a tomorrow, and slyly remark or gently kiss into words, that they will help make it better, whether that is to slowly reduce the amount of inner darkness, or to be there to keep it company and exercise with it. This connection is a missing love for some people, a never realized hope. But, it is important to know that there are these kinds of people and that you can sometimes find them in places you wouldn't expect. People can be very versatile and understanding at times and so even if you can't find the perfect one, sometimes you can make something more out of what you have, if the other is willing.
I think I can take a break from my essay of understanding now :) I feel a bit drained myself :)
no subject
For me, I would attribute black gunk to the inner darkness of the heart and mind. A person at face value can display whatever part of themselves they want but will generally only pick a personality that's either advantageous or one that's easy enough to maintain (not on account of lazyness, but because it just sort of bubbles up frequently enough and be held together with some ease even under duress).
However, what's at face value does not have to reveal anything of how a person feels in these times under duress or under other special circumstances. Sadness, hate, insecurity, sadism, masochism, lust; all these kinds of emotions can be moving around inside and if there is no outlet, or no way to express or share in these feelings then it just ends up causing further problems as you try and hold yourself in order to maintain your face value, your status quo.
But there is a problem with only trying to find an outlet for these things. It is very easy to find others who express themselves outwardly using these emotions. The person who cares only about physical gratification, who tares into their partner or their slave because they want their fix or their power, or you've got the slave themselves that waits eagerly to feel themselves become torn, to have their cork popped and the ocean well out. Because in the end, they won't really be there after they have taken or received what they wanted, their physical gratification. They are too focused on the game that they do not see outside themselves and the pain that the other person is still in, like themselves.
This is why you need someone special. Someone who feels these things, knows these things, but is of enough worth that they can, at the end of the emotional explosion, hold the other person close and say they'll never leave. Say that there is a tomorrow, and slyly remark or gently kiss into words, that they will help make it better, whether that is to slowly reduce the amount of inner darkness, or to be there to keep it company and exercise with it. This connection is a missing love for some people, a never realized hope. But, it is important to know that there are these kinds of people and that you can sometimes find them in places you wouldn't expect. People can be very versatile and understanding at times and so even if you can't find the perfect one, sometimes you can make something more out of what you have, if the other is willing.
I think I can take a break from my essay of understanding now :) I feel a bit drained myself :)