Dinosaur Comics! ([syndicated profile] dinosaur_comics_feed) wrote2025-08-11 12:00 am

true sherlock! i mean DETECTIVE

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August 11th, 2025next

August 11th, 2025: I took these numbers from the City of Toronto's own stats (page 17), which uhhh I did not expect to be as bad as they were. SORRY EVERYONE, I THOUGHT THEY'D BE HIGHER WHEN I STARTED THIS COMIC, SORRY AGAIN

– Ryan

PostSecret ([syndicated profile] post_secret_feed) wrote2025-08-10 12:04 am

Voicemail Secrets

Posted by Frank

In this online exhibition of audio secrets, you will hear a collection of voicemails from friends, parents, brothers, sisters, partners, loved ones. Some are funny, many are brief and heartfelt. Listen here. Or upload your own voicemail, story, and photos.

Our profound gratitude to everyone who contributed their emotional voicemail and soulful story. Special thanks to exhibition curator, Savannah Morin, and the team at Automatic. This exhibition was made possible with the generous support of the PostSecret Patreons.

The post Voicemail Secrets appeared first on PostSecret.

Dinosaur Comics! ([syndicated profile] dinosaur_comics_feed) wrote2025-08-08 12:00 am
Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-08 07:39 pm

New Books and ARCs, 8/8/255

Posted by John Scalzi

Here we are, well into August, and here is a stack of new books and ARCs to consider for the dog days ahead. What here looks good to you? Share in the comments?

— JS

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-08 07:00 pm

A Friday Snack Haul

Posted by Athena Scalzi

Today, I got the urge to get some snacks from the local Asian grocery store, and so I did and I thought I’d share what I got! It’s not much, as I tried not to go overboard, but it’s a good assortment of snackies.

Here’s the small haul:

Grocery items laid out on a table. From left to right, top to bottom, it's a container of white miso paste, a chicken bun, some banana shaped snack cakes, a coconut bun, a bag of MSG, two onigiri, a package of daifuku mochi with red bean paste filling, a royal milk tea, and rice crackers.

Normally I wouldn’t buy a big tub of miso, but I decided to make Half Baked Harvest’s Miso Chicken Thighs and Coconut Rice for dinner tonight, so I had a reason to buy it. Had to get some MSG, of course, that stuff rocks (can’t believe I used to think it was bad for you!). Picked out a chicken curry bun and two onigiri, one salmon and one salted plum. Definitely had to pick up some daifuku mochi with red bean paste, y’all know I love red bean filled mochi. I’ve never seen the banana shaped snack before, but I thought it was cute and figured it was worth trying. Thankfully, they had my most favorite milk tea so I bought a can of that, and also opted for their creamy coconut bun. They also had a giant package of rice crackers for cheap, so I snagged that, too. I just love how insanely crunchy and umami flavored they are.

So, yeah! Some nice snacks to start my weekend off right. I’m so excited to use the miso in my cooking tonight, I think it’ll really add some great flavor.

Like I said, I really wanted to buy more, but now I just have reasons to go back. What looks good to you? Do you like red bean paste? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

Dan Savage ([syndicated profile] savagelove_feed) wrote2025-08-08 06:52 pm

STRUGGLE SESSION: Blackmail Videos, Bad Seeds, Dangerous Coworkers and More!

Posted by Dan Savage

Okay, let’s struuuuuuggle… Says Andrew… Q5: The fear of sextortion always seems a little overblown to me. Like yes, of course, it would be super embarrassing if someone saw your videos. But the majority of people in the world do not receive or forward random videos of masturbating teenagers. Like, if someone forwarded me a … Read More »

The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Blackmail Videos, Bad Seeds, Dangerous Coworkers and More! appeared first on Dan Savage.

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-07 03:18 pm

The Big Idea: Morgan Richter

Posted by Athena Scalzi

Sometimes, you try your best, and it simply isn’t enough. Author Morgan Richter explores the question of “should the main character always be triumphant, even when under-skilled compared to the enemy?” Follow along in the Big Idea for her newest novel, The Understudy to see which nostalgic 1980’s underdog film inspired this idea in the first place.

MORGAN RICHTER:

I was born in 1974, so obviously I think The Karate Kid is a perfect film. This is just logic: Nothing in life ever comes close to the shimmering brilliance of the pop culture one consumes at the age of ten. This also explains why I think Duran Duran is a perfect band, and why I think Miami Vice is a perfect TV series, and why I am, even now, willing to challenge anyone who suggests otherwise to pistols at dawn. 

But there’s an idea at the core of The Karate Kid that has tugged at my brain for the past four decades, an idea I ended up revisiting and remixing in my thriller The Understudy, which revolves around the malevolent backstage shenanigans that take place during the production of an avant-garde opera based on the 1968 cult film Barbarella. In my book, Yolanda, the magnetic, gorgeous, and utterly bonkers understudy for the titular role, tries her best to undermine, sabotage, and flat-out murder Kit, her drab professional rival, to snag the lead. 

(The Understudy is a novel about contemporary opera, and here I’m yammering on about The Karate Kid and Gen-X nostalgia, and you might be beginning to worry that I’m getting us hopelessly lost. Fear not: I’m heading towards my point, but I’m doing it at a skewed angle. Sit back, blast Joe Esposito’s “You’re the Best” to hop onto my wavelength, and trust that I’ll get us to our destination soon.)

It takes around five years of training, give or take, to become a black belt in karate, right? Early on in The Karate Kid, our protagonist Daniel mentions that his karate background consists of “a few nights” of lessons at the Newark YMCA. After he gets clobbered by ruthless jerkass Johnny Lawrence and his vicious but well-coiffed gaggle of Cobra Kai blackbelts at his school’s Halloween dance, Daniel begs Mr. Miyagi for karate lessons so he can face off against Johnny at the All Valley Karate Championship, which, per a poster that we see multiple times in the film, takes place on…

December 19th. 

So, y’know, that’s seven weeks from Halloween. At the All Valley Karate Tournament, Daniel—who now has a grand total of maybe eight or nine weeks of general karate know-how under his belt, which, just FYI, is a black belt that Mr. Miyagi outright steals from another competitor to enable Daniel to scam his way into a tournament berth—systematically kicks and chops his way through multiple brackets of highly-trained challengers and, despite sustaining a debilitating injury, triumphs over Johnny in the final match. It’s an awesome ending: Daniel holds his trophy aloft while Johnny assures him he deserves it. Freeze frame on Mr. Miyagi’s beaming face. Roll credits. Perfection.

Damn, I love that film. I’m not alone; it’s hard to resist a tale in which a charismatic underdog goes toe-to-toe with a highly skilled yet less sympathetic antagonist and emerges the victor. But sometimes you just have to think: Maybe sometimes the underdog shouldn’t win?

That was my launching point for writing The Understudy, the Big Idea underpinning everything else that happens in the book. I chose to set it in the world of New York City opera for a couple of reasons: 1) opera is a ton of juicy, pulpy, lurid fun, and 2) performing opera on a professional stage—like dancing with a world-class ballet company, or like playing an instrument in a symphony orchestra, or like, I don’t know, defeating a horde of black belts at a karate tournament—requires years of training and hard-earned skills that can’t be fudged. Pluck and star power are awfully appealing character traits, but in many fields, skill is a necessity. Despite what some of my favorite eighties films have tried to teach me, a plucky amateur shouldn’t stand a chance against a skilled pro.

My homicidal understudy Yolanda is a plucky amateur. Physically, Yolanda is any director’s dream Barbarella: She’s gorgeous. She’s overflowing with sex appeal, star power, magnetism. She has a magical laugh and a captivating smile; she’s also got phenomenal knockers. She’s a mesmerizing performer onstage. Her singing voice? Yeah, it’s fine, whatever. She’s pretty good, but she’s undertrained. She misses her high notes. Her technique is sloppy.

By contrast, Kit, the opera’s primary Barbarella, is a consummate pro. As a performer, Kit is a killer cyborg: She’s skilled, precise, meticulous, and kinda robotic. While Yolanda is beautiful, Kit is plain. Kit should be the lead just based on skill and technique, but Barbarella’s artistic director, desperate to attract fresh patrons to a fading art form, looks at Yolanda and, despite her vocal weaknesses, sees a star. Kit, with a mounting sense of incredulity, comes to realize she’s very much in danger of losing the role of her dreams to a charismatic underdog.

The Understudy is a thriller, remember, and this means that Kit is also very much in danger of losing her life to a charismatic underdog. Yolanda is willing to do whatever it takes to snatch the role of Barbarella away from Kit, up to and very much including murder. So if we push this already-strained Karate Kid analogy past the point of no return, it’s as though in the weeks leading up to the All Valley Karate Championship, Daniel poisons Johnny’s tea, crane-kicks him in front of an oncoming train, and threatens to smother him with a pillow. (I would totally watch that film.)

As someone who has a sharp brain and a strong work ethic yet has never been mistaken for a blazing ball of charisma (I used to produce the E! series Talk Soup in the late nineties, and our interns once admitted that they had dubbed me “Daria” behind my back, if that gives you some idea of my general level of pep and vibrancy), I feel a special kinship with the Kits of the world. But I realized a potential difficulty in executing my Big Idea would lie in making sure readers didn’t find Yolanda—beautiful, tricky, lethal Yolanda—more compelling or, god help us all, more sympathetic than Kit.

The key to this lay in making Kit and Yolanda more alike than different. Both Kit and Yolanda are underdogs in a sense, in that both women struggled through violently troubled pasts and have emerged more or less triumphant, albeit in radically different ways. The title of the book refers to both Yolanda and Kit: Kit, whose career progress has been hindered by her lack of star power (see that “killer cyborg” comparison earlier), was initially cast as the understudy herself, and then the production’s original Barbarella dropped out, resulting in Kit’s promotion to the lead. Kit sees this as her best and possibly last chance to move into the spotlight. To hold onto her role, though, she’s going to have to unlock new and more magnetic sides of herself. She’ll need to embrace her inner Yolanda, in fact. 

May I dip back into my increasingly ill-advised Karate Kid analogy one more time? This is sort of what happens in the wildly entertaining Karate Kid spin-off series Cobra Kai, in which a present-day Johnny Lawrence, no longer the spoiled, self-assured bully of the 1984 film, flips the narrative and exposes himself as a messy, endearing failure struggling to get his life on track. The highly-trained pro becomes the charismatic underdog. One could say he, too, embraces his inner Yolanda… minus all the attempted murders.


The Understudy: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s

Author Socials: Website|Bluesky|Twitter|YouTube

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-06 09:10 pm

Attending Sky Asian Cuisine’s 9-Year Anniversary Lunch

Posted by Athena Scalzi

Two weeks ago, my dad and I went to Sky Asian Cuisine down in Kettering for a special anniversary lunch there were having. It was a nine-course bluefin tuna-cutting event that was $99 a person. This sounded quite intriguing, and Sky Asian Cuisine was one of those places on my list that I’d been meaning to go try for a long while now, so I figured this would be a fun and unique experience to try out. The lunch was from 12-3, which seemed like a long time for a lunch but when you consider that it’s nine courses it really isn’t that wild.

When we arrived, I noticed the inside was really nice overall, with plenty of seating and comfortable-looking booths, but looking at pictures online it definitely seems like it’s more atmospheric at night. I did find the bar area to be especially pretty, but it had two flatscreens and y’all know how I feel about flatscreens. For this event, they had everyone sit in the same area of the restaurant and put the biggest tuna I’ve ever seen in my life in the middle of the area.

I’m about to show a lot of pictures of a dead fish, so if that bothers you, here’s your PROCEED WITH CAUTION warning.

And here’s the big fat bluefin tuna:

A big ass bluefin tuna lying on a large table. The whole fish is intact, as if it has just been caught from the ocean.

The photo is honestly not doing it justice, this thing was huge and everyone was standing around it taking pictures. To think that everyone in attendance would be eating from this one fish was so wild, and really made me think about how often is it that we get to see the actual animal our food comes from? How often is a meal so communal that we’re all eating from just one animal? It was very thought-provoking.

Moving on, when we were sat at our table, there was this cute little card set up:

Our table, with the menu set out, as well as soy sauce dishes and a little card that reads

I thought that was a nice touch. And here’s a closer look at the nine course line-up:

A sheet of paper with a gold foil border that reads:

As you can see, not every single one of the nine courses is the actual tuna, but a majority of the meal certainly is. I actually had to look up what toro was, and while it is the tuna, it specifically refers to the fatty belly meat of the tuna, which is more expensive than the regular meat and is known for its melt-in-your-mouth qualities.

First thing first, they had to go through the process of cutting up the tuna. Here were some of the tools for the job:

Four very cool knives laid out on the table. One is a huge, rounded blade that looks like a half moon shape, one is so big and long that it could be considered a small sword, and then two more regularly sized chef knives. They're a very interesting mix of black and grey, all with wooden handles.

Here the chefs are, hard at work carving:

Two chefs in black chef outfits, each on one side of the tuna, carving it up.

A third chef was enlisted to help carry the head away:

Two chefs moving the head of the tuna to the other table.

If you’re wondering how the pictures I’m showing are so close to the action, it just so happens my dad and I got seated at the table next this table in the photo. So we had a fantastic view and picture-taking spot for the entire meal. Lucky us!

And finally, here was the result of all that hard work:

Four huge cuts of tuna, all laid out on the table. I don't even know what's what in this photo, but it's wild it all came from one big tuna!

This entire carving process took a full hour. While it was happening, everyone was served complimentary sangria and a bowl of edamame, so really the whole first hour of the lunch was devoted to just socializing, having a beverage or two, and watching the masters at work. After all, it was specifically called a bluefin tuna cutting event, so it only makes sense they took their time with it. I certainly wasn’t mad about it, anyway.

The sangria they served was a white sangria which I actually prefer over red:

A wine glass filled to the brim with white sangria. The cut up fruit inside consists of strawberries and oranges.

I really enjoyed this sangria. It was fruity and perfectly sweetened while still being refreshing. It was very peachy honestly. I went to the bar to order my dad a Coke Zero and asked the bartender if he had batched the sangria himself. He said yes and I told him it was really good, he was really friendly!

Finally it was time for our first course. I had found it strange that they were planning on serving raw tuna with tartar sauce, but who was I to question their expertise. So I was a little surprised when the first course came and there was no tartar sauce in sight:

A small blue and white bowl with a fresh cut piece of raw tuna inside it. The tuna is sitting a little puddle of liquid that looks like soy sauce, with what honestly looks like saffron strands on top.

This honestly looked like tuna in soy sauce with saffron strands on top. So I’m not entirely sure what happened here, but I definitely prefer whatever this was over tartar sauce (no shade to tartar sauce, I do think it can be a good condiment). This particular piece of tuna was incredibly tender, and the flavor of the liquid it was in wasn’t as intense and overpowering as soy sauce, it was lighter but still had a great umami flavor. I don’t know for certain that the things on top were actually saffron strands, but I do know they weren’t spicy so I didn’t think it was any kind of pepper. Long story short this first course was delicious, whatever it was.

Up next was the tuna sushi:

Two pieces of fresh cut tuna on top of rice in a pretty blue and white bowl. Tuna nigiri, technically then, right?

Two pieces of the fresh cut tuna on top of rice. I’m not an expert, but isn’t this nigiri and not sushi? Either way, it was good but not as tender as the first piece we had. I ate the first piece on its own, and then lightly dipped the second piece in soy sauce. It was good both ways. The rice was nice and soft, and I loved this particular bowl they served it in.

Our third course took a break from the ocean and moved to land with these beef skewers:

A kebab of cubes of beef, covered in a dry rub sort of seasoning.

I have no idea what the dry rub sort of seasoning on this beef was, but it was seriously flavorful and really tasty. The beef was just a little fatty which both my father and I enjoy, and there was a lot of meat on the skewer. We really enjoyed this course.

For the fourth course, we totally forgot to take a picture! It was toro sushi, so like the tuna sushi but just the fattier cut of the tuna with rice instead. It was definitely as advertised with its total melt-in-your-mouth texture, and it was wild to experience just how different it really is from the regular tuna. Another great course.

At this point I decided to have some sake, and asked one of the servers if they had Hakutsuru’s Awa Yuki Sparkling Sake. Not only is it my favorite but I thought it would be perfect for this meal since it’s so light and crisp. She said they didn’t have that one but they did have Ozeki’s Hana Awaka Junmai Sparkling Sake (also called Sparkling Flower), and she told me that it’s her favorite that they have and is very similar to the one I wanted. She also said it tastes like that first day of spring when your seasonal depression finally lifts, and that sold me on it.

A small pink glass bottle with a little shot glass next to it to pour the sake into. The pink sake bottle is decorated with little white and yellow flowers and reads

Much like my beloved Awa Yuki, this Hana Awaka is much lower in alcohol content than most sake, comes in a small bottle, and is super light and crisp from its slightly sweet, bubbly nature. It was excellent, and is a new favorite. Plus, look at that bottle! I’m obsessed with its design and delicious taste to match.

Next, we come back on land with these lamb skewers:

A kebab of lamb pieces, with the same dry rub on it as the beef.

They used the same seasonings on this lamb as they did the beef, so they actually tasted pretty similar. I don’t have lamb very often, but I wasn’t a huge fan of this kebab. Both my dad and I preferred the beef over the lamb. It wasn’t bad or anything, just not quite as good as the beef had been.

For the sixth course, we were served a bowl of miso soup, and I didn’t bother taking a picture because it was just standard miso soup. Totally average, but I always appreciate a nice warm bowl of soup.

Onto the seventh course, we have soy tuna ceviche:

Two pieces of tuna that have been lightly seared and have some wasabi on top. It's served in a pretty black and white bowl.

These pieces of tuna were torched, and here’s an action shot from that process:

A chef using a torch on some tuna. The flame is orange and blue. Very cool.

Same, guy on the right, same.

I liked that these pieces were served with wasabi, but I did take some off because those were pretty huge globs. I was kind of confused though on how this could be considered ceviche, but it was still good anyways. I’m a big fan of lightly seared ahi tuna and this was pretty similar.

Finally, it was time for the dish I was most intrigued about. The truffle wagyu fried rice:

A small white plate with a mound of fried rice on it. The small pieces of wagyu can be seen throughout, as well as pieces of corn.

Mostly I was intrigued because I was curious how strong the truffle would be, and also because usually when I see wagyu it’s a standalone thing and not in a dish. So the answer is there was no trace of truffle flavor present. Both my dad and I agreed that we tasted approximately zero truffle. As for the wagyu, the flavor was good but the texture wasn’t great, I think just because when you cut it up into such small pieces it gets cooked too well-done to have that nice texture wagyu is prized for. It seemed like an odd thing to put in fried rice. Part of me appreciates the attempt, but the execution just wasn’t that good.

Starting to wrap up here, we have the tuna sashimi:

Two pieces of sliced tuna in a pretty white, black, and red bowl.

Out of everything we had so far, this was truly the tuna in its purest form. No rice, no sauce, just the tuna, which really made us appreciate how fresh and tender it was. Again I decided to try a piece on its own and then have the other piece with soy sauce. Simplicity is nice sometimes.

Finally, the toro sashimi:

Two thick slices of toro sashimi in a bright yellow and white bowl.

These extra fatty pieces were so buttery and tender, and were a great end to our tuna lunch.

All in all, we enjoyed the experience. Some things were a huge hit for us, like the first course, and other things were just fine, like the miso soup and fried rice. I think for a hundred dollars a person it’s not a bad price when you consider the complimentary sangria (I had two glasses, even) and the presentation of cutting the fish, and just the curated experience as a whole. It was a lot of fun and I’m glad my dad was able to join me.

I would like to go back and try Sky Asian Cuisine for just a regular dinner sometime. The staff was very friendly, I liked the interior, and I think it’s totally worth another visit. I’m glad I could try this unique experience for their anniversary.

Which dish would you most like to try? Do you like bluefin tuna? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-06 08:45 pm

AI Slop Strikes Again

Posted by John Scalzi

I found the above bit of nonsense (minus the editorial comment emblazoned at the top, which I put in myself) on a Facebook page about stoicism, and, well. One, that’s not a quote from me (I know that because I’m me, but just to be sure I checked on Google and the only place it shows up is on that Facebook page, attributed to me, which bluntly is unlikely given I’ve been terminally online for three decades), and two, that’s not me in the picture, it’s what happens when you ask an “AI” to make a picture of me, in which I am made to look like someone who thinks the problem with Curtis Yarvin is that he’s too liberal. So: a quote I didn’t say, attributed to me, attached to a picture that also isn’t me, both pretty clearly “AI”-generated.

It’s not even something I would say, philosophically speaking. I do have a widely-quoted comment about the universe that is out there in the world, which is this: “There’s a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are actively making it so.” Which, I don’t know, seems more interesting, both as a sentence and as a philosophical statement, than whatever bullshit this is. Speaking as someone with an actual degree in philosophy, I would much rather have that statement represent me than this “AI” slop.

I have frequently begged people to beware random quotes they find on the Internet, even and especially when they are attached to celebrities or other notable people, and, obviously, this is more evidence of that. Please! Critically evaluate what you see online! Even when it’s attributed to Morgan Freeman! Or the Pope! Or me! I thank you in advance for your vigilance.

— JS

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-06 05:10 pm

The Big Idea: Athena Giles

Posted by Athena Scalzi

Sometimes, you have to take inspiration from wherever you are. In author Athena Giles’s case, most of that inspiration came from their time in New Zealand and New Hampshire. Follow along in their Big Idea to see how the sea contributed to the creation of their new novel, Waves Take Your Bones.

ATHENA GILES:

I wrote the opening for Waves Take Your Bones on the back of my bus ticket from Christchurch to Dunedin while solo traveling in New Zealand in 2013. Many of the early scenes were similarly written on scraps of paper, tickets, and napkins as I backpacked my way around the two islands. Minor characters and setting developed themselves while lounging in the Coromandel, heavily inspired by the landscape around me. The final scene of the book was written in the area of Shakespeare Cliff and Lonely Bay. Avoiding spoiling the ending, yes, those caves exist, and so does that rock. 

Though my time in New Zealand lasted about six months and my process of writing Waves Take Your Bones took twelve years, land and seascapes remained a primary influence. As much of the setting was taken from my home in seacoast New Hampshire near the Great Bay as from the Coromandel. That classic “low tide” smell across salt marshes invokes comfort and familiarity to me more than disgust. 

With each scene I wrote, my first thought was always “where are they?” When the characters looked around, what would they see? The very first scene I wrote, based on a dream I’d had, was about the Nightmare Bridge. I built the world around that point. What kind of landscape would stretch out around this otherworldly bridge? What kinds of people would live in that landscape? What are those people running from that makes them so desperate that they’d travel through this place?

The answer again came, in part, from New Zealand, where I’d (unwisely) gone to see World War Z when I first arrived in Auckland on a rainy day. What would make me trek through stinking, rotting swamps filled with biting flies to cross a bridge that shows you your worst fears? It would have to be my worst fear: zombies. So, the plot was literally built from the ground up. 

The majority of the twelve years I spent occasionally finding time to work on Waves Take Your Bones was spent far from the kind of landscape that initially inspired me. I lived for four years in Chicago, then came back to New England in 2019 only for the pandemic to hit almost immediately after I got there. Throughout that time, I only saw the ocean when I envisioned the scenes I was writing. My writing was an anchor to a landscape I had no access to. 


Waves Take Your Bones: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Space Wizard Science Fantasy

Author socials: Website|Instagram

Dinosaur Comics! ([syndicated profile] dinosaur_comics_feed) wrote2025-08-06 12:00 am

what about when you feel the transparency code, what emotion is that and how illegal is it

archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about
travel today and internet trubs - new comic will go up as soon as I can upload it!

August 6th, 2025next

August 6th, 2025: This weekend I'm at DUBLIN COMIC CON - hope to see you there! I've never done a comics show in Ireland so I am VERY EXCITED.

– Ryan

Dan Savage ([syndicated profile] savagelove_feed) wrote2025-08-05 11:00 am

Quickies

Posted by Patrick Kearney

1. Advice for a gay 28-year-old university professor who wants to cruise the apps in New York City while somehow avoiding his students? “There’s no easy solution to online dating in places where you might encounter students,” said a sexually active gay university prof who lives and fucks (and wishes to remain anonymous) in a … Read More »

The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.

Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-08-05 01:49 pm

The Big Idea: Stephen P. Kelner

Posted by Athena Scalzi

Leadership is something that looks different for everyone, and different situations require different types of leaders. Author Stephen P. Kelner brings us a book that guides you through all sorts of ways to lead, and how to be motivated to do so. Follow along in the Big Idea for his newest book, Where You Can Lead: The Pentad of Great Leadership, and see where it leads you.

STEPHEN P. KELNER:

I think about leadership a lot. I not only assess and develop leaders, but also help companies do the same, so I have to know about leadership and define it for others.

This makes me sensitive about fictional leaders. When Kimball Kinnison, Galactic Coordinator, dumps his job on his assistant so he can personally investigate a problem, I want to know what the other 137 billion Lensmen they graduate every freaking year are doing. When the top four officers on a major starship beam down to a dangerous planet, I want to scream at Kirk to delegate, dammit! I know the issue here is drama, or using the highest-paid star, but this ejects me right out of the story. (Shoutout to our host John Scalzi, who explores the nature of leadership and its development multiple times in the Interdependency trilogy, Starter Villain, and the Old Man’s War series.)

I mean, I did develop much of the methodology used to assess leaders at two of the top executive search firms in the world, meaning I am partly (and indirectly) responsible for hundreds of thousands of executives out there – assuming my colleagues and the clients used it well – so it’s not unreasonable for me to feel this way.

After decades of research, practice, training, and writing about leaders, I wanted to communicate what I have learned to a broader audience. Not with a technical manual – I’ve done that. I prefer translating the science into practical use. Besides, as my agent, Joshua Bilmes of JABberwocky, suggested over lunch: “Who are you writing for – and how many people are in that potential audience?”

Which led to my Big Idea: What if I wrote a leadership book for nearly everyone

All I needed to do is find a way to make it appealing and useful to everyone…

Many leadership books fatally assume there is one best way to lead. Not so! There’s a big difference between managing a startup, a major corporation undergoing change, or a stable nonprofit, for example. Why not write about multiple kinds of leadership, to apply to more people? And I could expand it further by showing how people grow within these different kinds of leadership, say, from a garage-based startup all the way to a giant multinational, so I could cover everyone from newbies to seasoned executives. 

Having determined that, I still had to organize it in a manageable way: as a guidebook, not an encyclopedia. I already knew I would incorporate the concept of implicit motivation: the emotional drives that power us through life. As a PhD motivational psychologist and researcher myself, I knew only three such motives account for 85% of spontaneous thinking time, so that would cover a lot, especially since everyone has those three to some degree. As a bonus, research shows if you align your job, your motives, and your personal values, you will be happier. 

I’ve counseled too many executives who were good at their jobs but hated them, because during their careers they grew from enjoyable work into a job not aligned with their implicit motives, which average very stable and hard to change. While not necessarily bad at their jobs, they had to work harder to do them and became less and less motivated to continue or to develop themselves. At worst, their own motives can derail their careers – one source of the famous Peter Principle: getting promoted to your level of incompetence. In one of my first consulting engagements, I provided such feedback to an outstanding but increasingly embittered executive in his late 50s, and I will never forget the shock and dismay on his face when he told me, “You’ve described my entire career.”

If I anchored the kinds of leadership in the motives, I killed two birds with one stone: First, help people identify their most satisfying career path (and/or help them understand what was going wrong sooner), and second, categorize different kinds of leadership based on a simple model.

Over 50 years ago, my mentor David McClelland, a giant of psychology (#15 most eminent of the 20th century), created the concept of the competency: any characteristic that differentiates performance in a specific job – like change leader. I could flip that concept over and instead look at which kinds of leaders benefit from having a specific motive. That kept the number of leadership roles down, and this thread could tie the book together.

I identified five kinds of leader, accounting for the vast majority of leadership roles I have seen in business: Entrepreneurial Leader, Thought Leader, Caring Leader, People Leader, and Change Leader. Each is rooted in one of the three main motives.

Now I had my hook for just about everybody: find out what drives you, and that determines what kind of leadership energizes you. Then follow these behavioral, competency-based steps to move up the right ladder. (Note my cover.)

And, finally, I could do something that too few in my business do: advise people on when to stop. Entrepreneurs famously sell their companies when they get too large (or too boring) and start a new one, but why limit this approach to them? 

I don’t just want people productive; I want them happy. Remember that embittered executive I shocked with his own motives? The next day, he strode up to me and declared that if his company didn’t let him retire early (and they wouldn’t), he would quit. 

It was my turn to be shocked – my client was going to hate this! – until he went on to say: “because I can’t live like this anymore.”

That’s when I knew I had done the right thing. With this book, I hope to reduce the number of those conversations. And helping people live satisfying lives, doing work they love, seems like an idea more than big enough to sustain a book.


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Dan Savage ([syndicated profile] savagelove_feed) wrote2025-08-05 11:00 am

The Dog Ate My Vibrator

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men’s lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and … Read More »

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