alexmegami: (Punkelf)
alexmegami ([personal profile] alexmegami) wrote2014-10-16 12:08 pm
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Post For Great Theraputic Intent

So as you may know, Bob (...actually, the only person that still reads LJ that knows this is Simon, I think), I am in therapy!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

So far it's been... interesting? The therapist has suggested a combination of CBT (not the pervy kind) and IPT for me, which everyone has agreed seems like a pretty logical combo for me.

Anyway, one of the things we have been talking about lately has been my overactive perfectionist streak and the fact that it means that I basically don't do anything. (No blogging, no writing, no art, etc.) So this is my therapy-assignment blog, to actually write a thing.

Note: my therapy appointment is in an hour. (And usually is on Wednesdays instead of Thursdays.) So... I may have left this a little long.

The weird thing is that blogging itself isn't exactly hard for me. (Or, at least, I don't have the deeply visceral reaction here that I do with fiction writing.) I just sort of stopped doing it, because I didn't have anything interesting to say. (I still don't, really, other than reporting on therapy.) I can't really talk about my clients, and I don't do a whole heck of a lot outside of work.

Which is... one of the things I'm in therapy for, really ^^;;

But it seems like the combo of "puzzle out the origin of this thing" (or at least, the origin of the motivation-destroying version of this thing; I've always been one who wants to do things as best I can, but why is that now "you can't do it well at all, so don't even bother starting" as opposed to "do your best!"?) and "destroy this thing" will help? I hope?

Next up: not living up to expectations! The stress of looking for a job! Not doing things that normal people totally do without thinking about it!

[identity profile] serrico.livejournal.com 2014-10-16 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh, yes, perfectionist procrastination. I suffer from this as well, to an extent, and it's annoying. Good luck with it, and with the therapy endeavour as a whole. :)