alexmegami: (Punkelf)
So while I know most of you read my FB at this point, I'm going to put this here, also (think of it as extra, extra insurance on doing them:)

So elsewhere I wrote what my goals for this year are, and I figured, well, let's post them to FB as well.
1. Be gentler with myself overall. (I have a tendency to be a bit of a perfectionist, and not in a good way [is there a good way?]. So this one is the most important one.)
2. Write at least three sentences a day.
3. Read at least one book a month.
4. Meditate at least five minutes every morning.
5. Find something fun that feels more like 'play' than 'exercise'.

No, they aren't lofty aspirations (and I know a bunch of people are going *one book a month???* and dying a little on the inside), but... if I do better than this then that's good. If I do only this, I can be satisfied. And if I don't manage all of these, then that's okay too. Trying to make that my mindset for 2016.

2015 was an... interesting year. I did a number of things, even though it felt for much of it like I was wading through the molasses of my low energy and a fuckton of self-loathing. (See also Item #1.) Therapy has been going... well? I think? Like at least I'm able to identify the fact that I have a lot of self-loathing, haha? >.> (And also nervous laughter when I'm actually upset about something/self-conscious? ;))

I dunno. It's really hard to tell as it goes if progress is being made, but I think things are going well. So I'm going to trust that it is, in fact, doing what it says on the tin, even if at this point I think I've been going about three times as long as what it's "supposed" to run. (CBT and IPT, the two therapies my therapist is using, are both intended to be fairly short-term, and we're now at 16 months, rather than weeks.) I dunno if that's just me, or what. (I do know I have been fairly resistant to the idea of being okay with small victories.)

But, let's see how 2016 plays out. (Yosh'!)
alexmegami: (Punkelf)
(By which I mean [livejournal.com profile] reflectedeve is doing it, and she's pretty damn cool.)

So basically, over the last I-don't-even-want-to-think-about-how-long-it's-been while, I have had IMMENSE difficulty putting words to page (screen? disk?) and also reading (like, let me tell you how many books I've read in full this year. ...yup) and it is AWFUL LIKE BURNING and I just don't even know what to do with myself any more. SO I'M GONNA DO THIS HERE PROCESSFEST THING (Processfest!) and maybe, hopefully, kind of give myself the inspiration to start something. I'm even gonna TRY REALLY HARD NOT TO BE NEGATIVE LIKE BURNING while I do it.

BUUUUUURNING.

(Okay, now that that's out of my system... allez cuisine!)

Day 1: Where do you create? What does your work space look like? )

Day 2: What's your first spark of inspiration? What makes you decide to work on a new project? What's your first step? Is it always the same or does your method change? How do you begin when you create? )

Day 3: Do you work on multiple projects at once? If you do, how do you juggle them? Do they fight for your attention? Or are you singularly focused? Do you set aside specific time for one project or many projects, or do you let yourself be guided by what you want to work on the most? )

Day 4: What do you consider a challenge for you? What is something that's hard for you? What part of your process trips you up? What do you wrestle with? What's always in your notes from your beta? What's the part of your process that makes you throw your hands up and go 'This? Again? ARGH!' )

Day 5: Tell us about your go-to creative buddies. You don't have to name names, but this is the place to talk about what your collaborator brings to your creative process, how the two-or-three-or-many of you work together, how you figured out how to work together, and why it works. None of us create entirely alone, so who gives you a hand when you stumble? Who helps you get unstuck? Who is that person who always understands what you were trying to do and helps you make it happen? )

I'm gonna leave Day 6 for later, because... again... trying to avoid the negative... (so well, as you can tell. :P)

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